I don't want to go

This tale involves one my favourite chems, 2C-E, a couple of beers and the acclaimed psychedelic film "Yellow Submarine" by The Beatles.

Released in 1968, Yellow Submarine is one of the most acclaimed works of animation from the psychedelic era. It is almost legendary in the use of music, story and colour; and it is still one of my favourite animated films of all time.

2C-E –strange and wonderful stuff

First act: 2C-E

 

I had already loaded a cap with 15mg of pure snow white 2C-E and ingested it in the late morning, as I had finished the chores in the house the next six hours could be spent in "lalaland": no meetings, no articles to write, no deadlines, nobody to mind. Bliss. Joy.

The first couple of hours were fun "come-up pleasure". Visuals, amazing music enjoyment. Very pleasurable trip with no noticeable ill-effects. Surfed the net. Watched a black and white film. Lounged around.

I'm getting thirsty and it's time to get something to drink.

Second act: two beers and Yellow Submarine

 

As it was a hot summer afternoon, at T+3:00 I drank the two beers in a relatively short time, and then started watching Yellow Submarine –a thoroughly fascinating film whilst in a "different existential mindset".

The colours and the animation –even with the stereotypical psychedelic constructs of the 1960's– are absolutely brilliant and the music of The Beatles in the film is intense and very emotional.

"The Blue Meanies" – the villains of Yellow Submarine

Things were going well and I was glued to the screen with a perma-grin for almost the whole movie – until close to the end when one of my favourite numbers comes up: the end of the "Blue Meanies" when The Beatles perform "All You Need is Love"

Mesmerised and with the fully-dilated eyes glued on the screen, I went into a trance –I was very, very close to nirvana– and thought to myself in a comforting and almost loving way... "this must be a beautiful way to go once your number is up"

Bad move

 

Suddenly an intense panic attack came over me.

For a split second I felt I was drowning. I was agonising. I could feel my heart racing almost out of control –the ugly feeling of asphixia and panic you get when desperately trying to reach for air in a nightmare.

My experienced and fried brain went into "support mode" and I almost robotically switched the TV off, closed my eyes and –whilst still looking at all the closed-eyed visual fractals and spinning artifacts– started breathing deeply and evenly to calm down.

I thought about the cause of the unexpected bad funk. Because once you get it out of your system, it's gone forever and the trip can be turned around.

In my altered mind, the thought of "this must be a beautiful way to die" was transposed to "you are dying now" –and my primal survival instincts had kicked in, no doubt influenced by the copious 2C-E and boosted by the two king-sized bottles of beer.

I decided to kill off the trip with a couple of Valiums and a cold shower. Some coffee and rest, whilst listening to light classical music. That did it and by nighttime I was feeling exhausted but in a serviceable condition.


The moral of the story: even in a perfect set and setting you have to be careful. Even happy thoughts can hurt.

25-I-NBOH: when intense meets colourful

My first experience with 25-I-NBOH was with a higher than recommended dosage (800 micrograms) and the effects were overwhelming and scary.

25-I-NBOH

In my first experience my visual field was obscured by spinning fractals, tessellated surfaces and other obnoxious visual artifacts that quickly turned chaotic – both as open-eye and closed-eye visuals. My body temperature fluctuated between shivers and profuse sweating, my mind was racing, my heartbeat increased to what I thought was an alarming rate and I was not very happy with the experience.

And then it lasted for 5 hours.

I filed 25-I-NBOH in the "overwhelming" category and abstained from it for almost a year.

Take 2

Yesterday I found some notes I had prepared about my second excursion with 25-I-NBOH. After not thinking about it for a year, I decided to try the experience again but with a lower dosage of 400 micrograms.

The day for this experience was sunny and hot. I was in a happy and optimistic mood.

Administration by a pre-measured paper blotter which I took in the usual way: I brushed my teeth and gums, placed the blotter between cheek and gums for twenty minutes, spit out. I don't swallow the spit or the blotter – very effective to reduce nausea.

After thirty minutes of "spitting the blotter" (T+0:50) the classical effects of a phen start appearing: giddiness, lightness in the extremities, pressure in the temples, random smiling. And energy. Lots of energy that needed to be channelled somewhere productive.

I decided to hit the gym and measure the effects in a more scientific and physically demanding environment than the couch.

By the time I reached the gym (T+1:15) the next obvious effect was a very interesting –I'd even say artistic– shift of the colour perception. It did not affect all colours, only those with high luminosity: bright oranges and bold reds, hot magentas and pinks. Even skin colours looked more saturated.

Subdued browns, greys, blues and greens looked almost exactly the same, but everything had a light violet tinge to it. I wonder if the iodine in 25-I has an effect on the perception of colour – here's a very crude sketch of the colour shift.

Normal vision (left) vs. 25-I-NBOH (right)- saturation is up, with a violet tinge

Hot colours looked almost insolent in their boldness –and in a gym environment there's bold colour everywhere. In shoes, tank tops, shorts and sports equipment. Eye candy. 

Ambient and electronic music were fantastic –but more upbeat tunes were overwhelming and confusing. I did not enjoy dance music or pop under the influence.

I was very pleased with the surroundings in the gym, and started with the testing of the heartbeat rate in a stationary bike. Initially my heartbeat was 10% higher than usual and as I went through the test I noticed that it climbed another 10% –still within limits, but definitely out of order for only five minutes of exertion.

A thought of "...should I stop doing this?" came over me and I could see the heart monitor going up three or four notches  in 30 seconds. It felt like I could control the heartbeat rate.

At that moment I decided to calm down, breathe deeply, relax and stop worrying. I had to think happy thoughts and be calm – to my astonishment, the heart rate went from 120 to 105 in two minutes (while still pedalling at the same speed). I have never seen anything like this, anywhere, and reinforces my initial thought: 25-I-NBOH is a demanding chem. You do not want to force yourself into a high-energy situation.

After another twenty minutes of easy pedalling I finished the exercise, cooled down and went in a cold shower. My heartbeat had stabilised to 15 to 20% above usual, my pupils were huge and I felt fantastic. I was anxious but not paranoid, happy thoughts still in my mind. With that, I left the gym and returned home.

That night I had a scrumptious dinner and after watching TV I went to bed –but I could not manage to sleep. A very common side-effect of phens.

This experience changed my mind about 25-I-NBOH. I have a new respect and even fondness for it. It's a great compound but it's difficult to work with. It needs "eye for the detail" and the right "set and setting" – it can quickly turn into an uncontrollable ride. It seems excellent for a colourful afternoon in a museum, park or even, an outdoor physical experience like a hike.

But I will never, ever drop 25-I-NBOH to go to a rave, a house-party or to a chaotic and unpredictable scene.

I am not in a rush to try it but once a every blue moon. It seems to be stable and keeping well –after a year of buying this batch, stored in a dark, cool drawer, it still seems to be potent.

Slapped by AMT and Alcohol

A few weeks ago I committed a major faux pas as a psychedelic dad: I got on AMT and then went for a few beers, whilst engaged in some serious soul searching, completely forgetting a time-honoured truism:

AMT and alcohol don't mix.

I got slapped across my insolent face by the AMT fairies, and slowly sank into a pretty strong and uncomfortable 10-hour long psychedelic excursion. I do not have any recollection of about 4 or 5 hours of my life, when my ego was shattered. I do remember crying a lot and apologising to myself for not being able to succeed at anything.

It was only through the dedicated care and attention of my better half that I managed to reconnect back into this World. I did not make a public scene nor I got myself in danger, but I did embarrass myself in front of my loved ones. I was babbling incoherent thoughts whilst crying my heart out - classical psychedelic therapy.

This hard trip had a silver lining. I managed to destroy my ego and unblocked something that has been preventing me to take ownership of my life for the last couple of years or so. In the days after this excursion I had much time to contemplate my life, my dreams, my future and how I related to the World around me.

I unconsciously wanted to get this much wasted in order to rebuild my soul and set priorities straight, and I think I succeeded. I am hungry for action now, and I am not afraid of competition or the challenges that life throws at you.

But this was a last-recourse action: I do not advocate mixing AMT with alcohol. It was only through sheer luck -more than experience- that I did not harm myself or others.

You have been warned.