Who is Psychedelic Dad?

I am a male of Latino ancestry in my mid-forties, husband to J. and proud father of two extraordinary children.

I enjoy being a dad and a husband. I also enjoy being a psychonaut -an interloper of the mind, if you will. My experiences with mind-altering substances go back to my early twenties, when I occasionally smoked cannabis with friends, as many young people do around the world.

Cannabis, cigarettes and alcohol. The usual holy trinity.

I was exposed from a young age to the writings of Aldous Huxley, Baudelaire, William Burroughs and Hunter S Thompson. I read about Albert Hoffman, about Haight-Ashbury, about MK ULTRA and The Merry Pranksters. I have read a lot and still do. Reading is one of my passions.

Things started getting interesting in my late-thirties. I had already quit smoking cigarettes after several tries, shunned cannabis altogether as a debilitating force on my free will, and discovered -late- the fun feeling of a MDxx-fuelled rave, being introduced to this by K., one of my trusted friends.

Lucky people, indeed.

You see, at that moment I was living in a city where there's little age-ism in the party circuit. It's perfectly acceptable to be middle-aged, dancing like there's no tomorrow -half-naked, fueled by energy drinks and vodka, totally zonked and having a wonderful time.

It was an experience I had never lived before, and I loved every moment of it.

Of course, this contrasts with the scene of  alcohol related violence in pubs and bars where people my age congregate, in that same city.

Disliking violence and physical confrontation, I gravitated towards the rave and pills and hipster scene. By this time, I had discovered hallucinogens and developed a liking for them. I really enjoy the visual and contemplative part of the experience.

Over time, I started consuming drugs without the ritual of going out to a party or having a special moment. Sometimes, I used too much for my own good and it got to the point of recklessness.

Somehow, I learnt to function whilst on drugs. But the magic was lost and my health started to deteriorate rapidly. At that moment, I realised I had to stop.

At the most, this is a fictional story and you should not repeat any of these experiences.

I wonder if could ever live without drugs, or if I could ever break free from them. I am fully aware of the consequences to me and those around me. By writing about my own experiences I hope to minimise the risk to others.

Do not fool yourself: there is danger in drugs as well as artificial paradises to explore.